


Don't Tell Mama

by wordwinx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:50:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordwinx/pseuds/wordwinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was supposed to be a boys' night out, but something went wrong.  They would either bounce back or go right over the edge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Tell Mama

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is based VERY loosely on actual events. I do not pretend to know what happened between these two men. I only pose a fictious account of real relationships as I know they can be if not as they truly are.

"Adam? . . . ADAM!"

“What?”

“Are you hearing me?”

“Huh? Yes.”

“Fuck . . . Have they questioned you yet?”

“Jeremy?”

“What?”

“I’m in jail.”

“I know, Adam. You called me, remember?”

“What’s going on? They took Sauli.”

“Adam, I need you to focus. I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?” Adam only nodded. “Adam? Can you hear me?”

“Yes, yes.”

“Okay. Fuck.” Jeremy took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. “Are you alone?”

“No, there are all these people here, and I don’t know what they’re saying. I’m . . . I don’t know them. I don’t know where Sauli is.”

“Adam, I want to help, but you’ve got to stop crying and pull it together. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to ask you some questions, and all I want you to say is ‘yes’ or ‘no’ okay?”

“Okay.”

“It’s important that you not say anything else. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Did you hit anyone?”

“No. Yeah. She was trying to . . .”

“Yes or no, Adam. Just yes or no. Try to remember. Did you throw a punch?”

“No.”

“Did you start it?”

“No. Yeah. I was just . . . He was so . . .”

Adam apparently wasn't lucid enough to shut the fuck up. “Adam, listen to me. When they ask you questions later, I want you to tell them you blacked out. Do you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“You tell them you don’t remember a thing. Tell them about the jetlag. Tell them you were having a good time, then you had too much to drink, and you blacked out. Do you understand?” Adam took a tremulous breath and pinched his eyes shut. His head was swimming. Even though he knew he and Sauli had physically fought, he honestly didn’t know why exactly. It wasn’t a complete lie. “Dammit, Adam, you blacked out. Do you UNDERSTAND me?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then. They’re probably going to put you in a cell until you sober up. If there aren’t any charges, they’ll release you and just file some kind of report. There will be press about this. We’ll have to handle that later. I’ll make a few calls, then we can . . .”

“Jeremy?”

“Yeah.”  
Adam started to cry again. “I don’t know where Sauli is. They took him away.”

“Was he hurt?”

Adam shook his head. “He was so mad at me.”

“It’ll be all right, Adam. I’m sure you two can work this out once you’ve cooled off.” There was no response, but Jeremy could hear Adam sniffling. “Adam? You remember what I said about the black out, right?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay, then. Let them take you someplace safe to sober up, just cooperate . . . whatever they say. You did the right thing to call me. You’re going to be okay.”

“Okay. They want me to go now.”

“All right. Call me again as soon as you’re released.”

“Okay, bye.”

The police staff treated Adam with the utmost care. They were courteous, almost gentle with him. Adam was gracious . . . humble . . . calm. He kept seeing Sauli’s face, expressions he had never seen before, never wanted to see again. The guard brought him coffee and actually patted him tenderly on the back. Adam was starting to feel now. He had a stiff pain in his ribs and remembered Sauli had kneed him while they were struggling on the floor. How did they end up on the floor? Adam tried hard to make his brain work. It was coming back to him in broken pieces, imperfectly. The night had started out so well. Adam and Nikko had hit it off. They were joking about the ridiculous irony of so-called reality shows. Nikko had some stories about Sauli that Adam had not heard before. It amused Adam to see Sauli so open. Adam thought he had seen all of Sauli’s sides by now. Apparently, he had missed a few. Adam didn’t even realize when his mood turned dark. He saw Sauli smiling across the table. His eyes glittered with life. He was giggling and toasting. He smoked too much. He let Nikko touch him, a lot. They were speaking Finnish at warp speed completing each other's thoughts. Sometimes they looked at Adam and laughed. What the fuck was that about?

Sofia kept trying to make conversation. “They are always like this when they get together.” She rolled her eyes hoping to find solidarity with Adam as the odd man out. The hair prickled on Adam’s neck. Sauli saw someone across the bar and stood up on his chair to wave at him. Before Sauli left, he went to give Adam a swift peck on the cheek, but Adam brought him down onto his lap. He kissed Sauli sloppily with so much force their teeth clacked. Sauli pulled away. Adam wouldn’t let him up. He crushed Sauli against his chest and forced a deep kiss filling Sauli’s mouth and throat with his tongue. Sauli felt smothered and choked. He pushed off and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Stop that, Adam. I’ll be right back.” He didn’t invite Adam to come with him. He was gone a long time. Nikko and Sofia were nuzzling. Adam’s senses became oddly alert. Something was happening. He could feel it. He searched the crowd and spotted the back of Sauli’s head. He tried to get up, but he wasn’t sure on his feet. He bumped the table. Nikko grabbed Adam’s elbow. Adam jerked away.

Nikko’s grin slipped. “Hold on, Adam. Sauli will be back.”

“Who is that?” Adam was pointing emphatically as Nikko tried to see. “That guy Sauli’s talking to?”

“That’s ____.” Adam didn’t catch the name. The odd combination of vowels got lost in the throb of adrenaline inside Adam’s ears. “He’s just an old friend.” Adam could tell by the way Nikko was trying to make light of it, as if this man were of no consequence that the exact opposite was the truth of the matter. Adam scanned the bar again. There was Sauli and his ‘old friend.’ He was handsome and slim like an athlete. Adam could tell by the way Sauli stood that he was flirting. This guy was whispering in Sauli’s ear, and whoa . . . no way . . . that was NOT what he just saw . . . a hand on Sauli’s ass . . . oh, HELL no! Adam bolted and didn’t notice that Sauli had smacked the hand away. He pulled Sauli backward by the shoulder and looked daggers at the ‘old friend.’

“Back the fuck off!” The guy averted his eyes guiltily busted.

Sauli was defiant. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Me? What the fuck are you doing exactly?”

“I’m talking. I’m visiting.”

“With your ass?!”

“You are out of your mind.”

“Am I? It’s pretty clear what’s on YOUR mind.” Adam gave the other man one last warning look, and he excused himself. Sauli tried to stop him, but Adam intervened. “Uh, don’t even.” Sauli gritted his teeth and began to curse in Finnish. Adam cupped his ear with his hand, mockingly. “Huh? What’s that? I can’t understand you.”

“Oh, fine then, I’ll tell you what a dumb fuck you are in the only language you know. You’ve been pouting all night, just sitting there with this stupid scowl on your face, such a big baby.”

“Oh, you noticed? I couldn’t tell. I’m surprised you even knew I was there.”

“That’s bullshit, Adam. So, I can’t have any fun, then? Is that it? Unless you are the center of attention, right?”

“Oh, so I’m the attention whore? Really?” Adam’s vocal octave was climbing.

“Yes, really. This is my country! This is my bar! And these are my friends! Not yours!”

“You seem to have a lot of ‘old friends’ . . .”

“So what?”

“So, I think I got the whore part right.” Adam immediately regretted it. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t even believe it. Sauli had always been honest about his past. Adam was the one who had downplayed his sexual exploits partly because he truly had no idea just how many there had been. He was jealous, all right, but not of Nikko or the man of many vowels. In LA, Sauli was all his. Here in Finland, Adam had to share. He was insanely jealous that these strangers knew a Sauli that he never could. The look on Sauli’s face was total shock at first. Then, his eyes melted painfully at the corners. Finally, his jaw clenched as his lips became a thin line. He shoved Adam out of the way and headed down a hall to escape him. “Sauli, no . . . stop . . . I’m so sorry. Wait.” Adam pursued him. He swung open a door into a brightly lit room with counters and trays and a tile floor. Sauli was corned by a sink, and Adam caught him by the arm. Sauli yanked free and began flailing at Adam’s chest, yelling in his sharp native tongue. “Stop it, Sauli. Stop it!” Adam tried to hold Sauli still, but he turned into a slithery octopus. Adam lost his balance, and they ended up on the floor, a wrestling heap of arms and legs. Nikko came in and managed somehow to get them on their feet. By this time two bouncers escorted Adam and Sauli separately out the front door. The cold did little to sober them. Great puffs of air escaped their lungs and evaporated as swiftly as their reason.

“You know, Adam. I wanted to bring you back to Helsinki for so long. When we met, it was real. What we had between us here was so real. Now look at you. Just look at yourself. Everything you know is LA where life is fake and shallow. Go home, Adam. That’s where you belong.”

It was Adam’s turn to rage. “Take it back!”

“No.”

“Take it back, Sauli. I mean it.”

“Fuck you.”

Adam lunged, and they were at it again. Nikko and Sofia came out after settling the bill only to find them trying to overpower each other as if making the other ‘uncle’ would mean he was right. Nikko figured they would exhaust themselves eventually, but Sofia’s instincts told her to separate them before they hurt each other. She stepped in just as Adam lashed out. His forearm knocked her sideways. He gasped. “Oh my GOD! Sofie! Oh my GOD! NO NO NO NO NO NO!” Nikko steadied her while she shook off the spinning sensation. Adam had his hand over his mouth still in shock. Then he started to cry. “I’m so sorry.” Adam channeled an apology loop. He was sorry for everything including the economy, global warming, and world hunger. His shoulders slumped forward, and he literally lost height. Sofia tried to convince him she wasn’t hurt. Nikko went to Sauli to inspect him for injury. That's when the police arrived.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam spent most of his time pacing,but he was dozing fitfully when the guard came to get him. Again, with the tenderness . . . It was almost more than Adam could bear. In the interrogation room, the officer was lenient. He accepted Adam’s claim of a blackout with little further inquiry. Adam asked for Sauli, and they told him he would be released soon. They led Adam out a back door because the front was swarming with paparazzi. A cab took him back to the hotel. He pulled up his collar as high as it would go and cursed the light. He called Jeremy who tried to encourage him that they would be ready when it hit the press. They wanted Adam not to post anything at all until they had the police report. Adam took a hot shower and tried to ease his throbbing head with pills. He was shaving when Sauli came in. Adam rushed to greet him then hesitated at the bathroom door unsure of Sauli’s state of mind. Sauli gave Adam a quizzical look, and Adam realized he was still lathered with shaving foam from ear to ear. Sauli smirked. “If you’re here to ask if I’ve been naughty or nice . . . no comment.”

Adam’s relief came out in a breathy smile, but he didn’t dare approach just yet. Sauli dialed his phone. “Äiti, minun täytyy kertoa sinulle jotain.” Adam recognized enough Finnish to realize Sauli was calling to tell his mother. He returned to the bathroom to leave Sauli alone even though Adam would have no idea what he was saying anyway. Adam accepted that. It was the most difficult thing he had ever tried to accomplish . . . giving Sauli privacy and his trust. Adam had a feeling that if he could master it, the reward would be beyond imagining. They didn’t speak again until Sauli had also showered and dressed. Adam was checking the internet to see how bad it was. Apparently the speculations were spreading faster than the truth.

Sauli startled him. "Is it bad?”

Adam shrugged. "We’ll see when it hits the states.” Sauli was patient. "I’m sorry, Sauli. This was my fault.”

"Not entirely. I was careless.”

"I want so much to . . .”

Sauli interrupted him. "Don’t . . . not right now. My head is killing me, and I need to eat something.”

"Okay.” Adam looked for the room service menu on the messy desk.”

"Let’s go out.”

"Are you sure?”

"We have nothing to hide. All right?”

"All right.”

Then Sauli’s expression softened. "I know a good burger joint.”

Adam’s eyes filled with tears. "That’s . . .” He swallowed the lump in his throat. "That’s what you said to me that day . . . that first day. We woke up, and it was the middle of the afternoon. We were both starving. And you said to me in the most precious accent I had ever heard. ’I know this good burger joint.’ Because obviously, that’s what all American boys want to eat.”

"Obviously.”

"That’s when I knew I was in love with you.”

Now Sauli’s eyes were misty too. "I think we should go back there, yes?”

"Yes . . . yes, let’s go back.”


End file.
